Lately I've had trouble focusing.
Lately I've been off my rocker.
What proof do I have to support this theory? Evidence.
They're called personal testimonies.
Slur of Speech and Shameful Story Sharing
Many of you know that one of my favorite pastimes is to merge two words of compatible syllable count together. Normally, I am consciously aware of when I am putting two words together. For example...pencil : outlet = penlet : outcil. Although, recently I've been unconsciously doing this. This unplanned marriage of two words come out of my mouth before I am able to stop them. It's like I am an overly protective parent whose daughter elopes without my approval of the spouse or permission to wed. Also, I have struggled simply to pronounce words in general. Thankfully, many times I am able to turn the failures of my tongue into witty, sarcastic comments. Such as, "I want to become a better musiciiains [musician], but maybe I should learn how to say the word first."
I have always enjoyed telling stories (who doesn't?) but recently it has been an extremely difficult to complete that task. I take the opportunity to tell stories when I am completely sure I have at least one set of ears but I've come to realize that I don't even deserve an audience. Why be so hard on myself you might ask? Because it shouldn't take fifteen minutes to say that I had a salad for lunch. For some unknown reason my mouth feels obligated to enlighten everyone on the most minute, unrelated details. I really am turning into my mother. Foolishly I assumed I would only inherit her most favorable characteristics. Love you Mummsie.
Directional Disorientation
Our elevators in my residence hall are not the most reliable but me being the optimist that I am frequently forget that sometimes they don't work. One day I pressed the button to go up and "ding" the doors popped open and I hopped right in. On this particular day I was in my own little bubble and as the doors closed behind me I proceeded to sing a song because I was just taking the ride by myself and plus, I like how voices sound in small enclosed spaces, you can hear yourself better. I might have been singing for 30 seconds or two minutes for that matter until I could see in the sliver between the two elevator doors an outline of a person. At this moment I realized that I had not moved at all from one floor to another. The doors popped open and one of the maintenance ladies said "I don't think it's working honey." So, pretending like I had known this all along, I nonchalantly stepped out of the elevator and took the stairs.
I live on the 4th floor and one day I was visiting a friend on the 6th floor. When I was taking the stairs to leave to go back to my room, I went up the stairs instead of down. Why? I. don't. know.
A friend was visiting one day and I had to let them in through the front doors of the residence hall. We took the stairs to go up. I am fully aware of the fact that I live on the fourth floor but this day, I was adamant about living on the third floor. There were three ques that I didn't pick up on telling me I was on the third floor. 1. I had trouble getting the door open to the floor. 2. There was a calendar on the wall that I didn't recognize, therefore I commented and said "hmmm. That must be new." 3. Finally the hint that threw me a curve ball. When I looked in the window to the suite that I thought was mine, there was a poster of a half naked woman on someone's door that I had definitely never seen before. By this point, I was not only embarrassed for not being able to find my own room but scarred for seeing a picture that could have been very easily prevented.
Baring Blood
I have a very low tolerance for caffeine. My unlimited meal plan does a good job of reminding me of this. There is no reason to say no to coffee when it's already paid for, right? Wrong. Ha. Too late, the caffeine was already in my system and I was pumped to give some blood. As I was waiting for my turn to go behind the little blue cubicle to answer "very personal" questions I was sitting there between two guys. One on my right was older, maybe in his fifties and the one on my left was about my age. After I had taken notice to these fellows I began to sift through questions in my head that would give me a reason to talk to them. I made more success with the older guy because he had glasses, which in my mind meant he was an expert in some area that I probably was ignorant of. I was mostly right because he had been a professor for at least thirty years in one of the agriculture departments. Good for him. After he left, I was stuck with the young guy but the only thing I could think to talk to him about was his cool shoes. I've been known many a time to comment on shoes. I haven't had the best of luck with that habit though so I decided to sit this one out. Caffeine made me more confident but not that confident. The male nurse who asked me questions behind the blue walls seemed somewhat unhappy. He had a foreign accent so maybe that could be connected with his lack of showing emotion. I began to try and think of ways to get him to smile or connect with me but my attempts failed unfortunately. When he was about to prick my finger I said "this is my least favorite part!" Nothin'. I think our humors didn't match because his attempt at a joke was as pathetic as mine. He asked me multiple times whether I was male or a female until I realized he was jerking my chain. He then laughed, apparently his joke was lightyears funnier than mine. Later a female nurse came to finish up the blue cubicle questionnaire. She was older and had very sharp features, small frame but she was definitely tough. While she was typing on the computer I was moving around, bobbing my leg and she asked "How you doing? You nervous?" I was surprised she asked because I thought I was acting completely calm but maybe not. Next she took me over to the chair where I would lay down to give blood. What's funny about his woman is that she scared me but at the same time made me feel very secure and safe. I felt like I was happy to have her on my side, instead of her being the enemy. Tough shell but you know she really cares about you. So since I'm really frustrated with how long it is taking me to type this post I'm just gonna wrap it up as quickly and briefly as I can.....Basically I was leaning back in the chair while my body was all hyped on caffeine and I had all this energy deep down inside me that just wanted to burst out! It was the weirdest feeling ever because I needed to relax because there was kind of a needle in my arm trying to get some of my blood which is kind of necessary to live....I remember just bobbing my head and humming and tapping and jolting but only being limited to small movements because my chair might fall over if I had done what I really felt like doing....aka performing some kind of musical number. Unfortunately the only thing I had to release all my pint up energy was the little hand thing that I kept rolling around a million times a minute. I was surprised no one came over and asked me for a drink or if I was doing okay, like this was normal, I was actually slightly offended they didn't take notice....anyways. It felt funny. I might try that combination again....just for kicks and giggles.
